Monday, February 28, 2005

reciprocity fuels contagious delerium

Imagine a bag full of semi-translucent marbles. Now imagine the marbles are made up of a form of non-melting perpetually cold ice cream. Consider the possible flavours of these ice-cream marbles and then answer the following question:

How many times did the person carrying this bag forget to count the number of ice-cream marbles that were in the bag prior to eating them one at a time until only the scent of them remained?

Friday, February 25, 2005

Did the dilettante parody the righteous?

Many were the attempts at striking fate with a blow known only by others as the smite of God. I'd like a big mac trio, please.

Thursday, February 24, 2005

recycling ducts

Galoshes deny themselves the right to free speech

  • since they have no vocal cords

  • since they have nothing interesting to say

  • since they are not attuned to current events

  • since most people do not believe that inanimate objects possess a soul


Do fountains ever got bored of doing what they do? Galoshes are thankful for the existence of fountains.

Wednesday, February 23, 2005

Would you buy a house if it was built over a graveyard?

What about if the graveyard was 100 years old? 500 years old? 1000 years old? Does it make a difference?

Tuesday, February 22, 2005

reminds me of

Regulations that exceed the proportion of recalcitrance ignite fear among the weary. Do your best to reduce insomnolence by increasing the consumption of prophetic idealogies.

Monday, February 21, 2005

Serendipity without kites

Mark this day in your calendar as the first day that follows the previous. Choose today to be the day that is just like the next one, or exactly non-dissimilar from the previous one. Make the most of this day in the same sense that you've made the most of the day that you made the most. Determine what is the highest potential of this day and aim for it, or have a beer.

Friday, February 18, 2005

Fried Eggs

Imagine snoring while making a speech about the rights of an individual to dance at a board meeting of a company that spends more money on hula-hoops than it does on coffee. Would you trade in your digital watch for a crimson tooth pick?

Thursday, February 17, 2005

cantankerous insipidity

Were you met with dismay by the dysfunctionally misguided NHL? I for one hope to see a deal for next season that prolongs the life of this league for at least as long as it takes for my grandchildren to grow old.

Don't forget to floss your ankles!

Wednesday, February 16, 2005

How do you decide...

...what to wear in the morning?
...what to order at McDonald's?
...when to gouge your government for all the tax money they attempt to eke out of you?
...upon the reason for the existence of lint?

Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Mexico isn't north of ski lessons

Foreign oil resources claim to be closer to God by being dug out of the earth by charlatan ignominious Mexican ski instructors.
Makes you wonder why you didn't have an extra chocolate chip cookie last night, doesn't it?

Monday, February 14, 2005

pilgrims observe lunatic time

Mesopotamia seems like an awful long time ago. I wonder what kind of TV shows they watched back then.

Saturday, February 12, 2005

sandwiched between isolation and evacuation

In particle physics, do isotopes ignore muons? It is Saturday PM as I type this, wondering how many more Saturdays there are before Sunday arrives.

Friday, February 11, 2005

mind matters most?

"Mind matters most, Mom", Mike muttered.
"Mind your manners more, Mike" Mom mustered.
Mark, the milkman, reminded Mike that Mom's manners mattered most, and that manners matter more than the mind.

Thursday, February 10, 2005

Dangerously inclined towards eggplant

imagine creativity launched in an attack against lethargy



dangle the good fortune of strangers meeting twice in the same day in front of fear caused by irrational behaviour, then decide which path to follow - the sinewy or languorous one.

Wednesday, February 09, 2005

Adding comments

Yesterday I had some fun clicking on the 'next blog' button in the upper right corner. I must have scanned about three dozen blogs, some of them for just a picosecond, others long enough to read one or two posts, and a handful I had something to add, so I did. Why not do the same? Go to a handful of completely random blogs, see if any incite you to comment, and do just that!

Amazing Race.

Sorely disappointed the second place team didn't place first.

Tuesday, February 08, 2005

Slapstick physicists

Today was another dull day, and it isn't over yet.

Just imagine

Find out what it takes to shine a lightbulb without electricty, and then you'll have reached out and touched someone like it were 1983.