Wednesday, January 18, 2017

when a turn key doesn't lock

His feet really smell. Perhaps he should remove them.

Or, wash them.

Or, paint them orange.

I do not know what is the most appropriate solution. Of course, I am not the one to make the decision, so it isn't important that I don't know.

He said he would wash his feet before getting into bed. I think this is a fine idea as otherwise the bed would start to smell like his feet. And how do you remove a bed?

Oh, I know, we could paint the bed orange. Or, he'll wash his feet.

Friday, January 13, 2017

geniune, real and Kraft Dinner

Some people are very 'real', very 'genuine' while others are less so. This indicates that there is a spectrum of degrees of 'realness' upon which people fall. Even on that spectrum, people can be at different levels at different times. Every once in a while I encounter a person who I find is way more 'real' than I am; that in comparison I am much closer to an aura.

It isn't so much that I feel ingenuine, but rather, that I feel inexistential.

Fortunately, this feeling is fleeting.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

music like a tempest, box kite

In a discussion with a coworker yesterday it came up that in many of the shopping malls in our area, there are more and more empty spots. Likely it is due to more and more shopping happening online.

This is putting people out of work. So while it is convenient to order things online, it is not entirely socially responsible.

Anyhow, with all of this empty retail space I had an idea, though the funding for it presents a challenge. The basic premise is to create small musical performance halls.

In a small retail space have room for single performers with portable instruments. Coordinate with conservatories and other musicians to have single or duet performances during peak times that people are in the mall.

In a larger retail space, have one that has a piano so that piano performances can happen. Have others where quartets have room.

In the largest retail spaces, have room for a band to play. Rock, blues, jazz, fusion, country, ballads, and so on.

In each case, have tables and chairs for the audience to sit and eat. If this retail space that is now a musical performance space is close to a food court, all the better.

Have baskets or bins in various places throughout the musical performance space so that audience members can make fiduciary contributions to the performers.

The only problem is that the retail space would normally have a tenant that is paying rent to the owners of the space and this musical performance use of the space would never be sufficiently revenue generating to pay that rent.

If I was a multi-billionaire, I could set up a fund whose dividend payments could pay for this. Alternatively, if the government had an increase in its Arts budget, it could be the government that pays for it.

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

stock brokers who lose at chess

Over the past few days I've had almost half a dozen instances of SLI take place. The wiki article indicates there is no scientific evidence for this, and while I agree without scientific evidence there is no rational or reasonable explanation, however, my own experience tells me that there is some causality that is not presently explainable.

I will be building the top half of the boiler that will be used as the high efficiency furnace to turn fuel into steam.

From Kijiji I'll be getting a three foot long 16" sonotube that will mimic the 15" tube of the top of the boiler. On top of the sonotube I need to make the funnel that is six inches wider than the tube. Then I'll bring this to the lab where the robot is being built and they can make use of it for target testing.

Sunday, January 08, 2017

stealth foghorns, unite!

The permanency of a temporary sign postage requires almost exactly zero cornucopias to erupt from my little sister's pet tarantula's mom's left earlobe. I should know.

I plan on starting, again, an exercise routine tomorrow so long as I get a sufficient amount of sleep tonight. In order for this to happen, I am hoping to get to bed prior to 22h. As I type this sentence, that is a little over three hours from now. The exercise routine I have is entirely made up of body-weight exercises. This includes different types of push ups, squats, pull ups, chin ups, forwards and backwards lunges, leg raises and a few other things. I tried this same routine for about five consecutive weeks seven months ago and found I enjoyed doing it. We shall see if I can keep the discipline to keep doing it for a longer period this time.

There are a very large number of inexistential duiker antelopes playing hide-and-go-seek tag in my right armpit. The ostrich that planted a terrarium there decided to go on a vacation to Malibu. The terrarium got washed away the most recent time I was disinfected after having left the clean room used to perform scab tests on alien toe fungus.

In terms of the Minimalist Game that my family has taken on, out of 500 total items I am to rid the house of by the end of the month, I am at 48. Other of my family members have more and one has less. So far it has been fairly easy, however, as the date value of the days gets higher, it becomes more difficult to locate that number of things.

I hope that this month, already almost one third over, has passed in a way such that you have not stubbed any of your toes.

Tomorrow I plan on returning to the intermittent fasting that I had taken up a while ago. I had let it slide for a few weeks but I feel it is time to get back to it. This means skipping breakfast and lunch tomorrow and having only a light supper. Thursday, I repeat the procedure.

Now it is a little less than three hours before I hope to go to sleep.

Thursday, January 05, 2017

Lucy and her lucidity

The instruction manual that came with my ice cube tray was lacking in the indication of what temperature the water should be before I put the water into the tray prior to putting the tray into the freezer.

A fledgling and narrow window sill mocked the door frame adjacent to it. This derision shut the door on kindness and generosity.

Traveling on the Underground Railroad wasn't much like taking a subway ride through a city in modern times. I have never traveled on the Underground Railroad, but I have taken the metro in my city numerous times. The 'metro' is my city's name for what other cities call the subway.

The absurdity of using a stainless steel tea pot to peel a ripened banana is likened to the admittance of a deranged sentinel into a children's daycare's Hairspray reproduction. I have used hair spray in my hair exactly zero times in my life thus far. I have never been a sentinel and nor have I used a stainless steel tea pot for anything other than its intended use. I do know how to make ice, however.

Monday, January 02, 2017

When all of the operas found in my cereal box

Already, here we are in 2017; pretty amazing that we got this far.

My family has begun the minimalist game for this month of January. Yesterday I got rid of one dress shirt that doesn't fit me, today, I got rid of two more.

We are doing 31 days instead of 30 and we've rounded up to 500 items per family member, rather than the 496 that is the sum of 1 + 2 + 3 + 4 + ... + 30 + 31. So on four days I will need to add one to the count; probably tomorrow I will do some extra, as likely it will be easier to get rid of stuff in the lower number days.

This week, from Monday to Thursday I am doing the 2h to 10h shift, working from home. Given this, I am going to sleep fairly early, and then I have a nap in the mid afternoon.

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

the rib in the rope of the third

I oad to a florped klemnof much like a teen aged frog plays chess with a bucket of gravity. All of the other buckets had too much cream cheese.

This may be the last post I post in the year 2016. Or, I may post one more. Or two more.

There are no living dandelions on my front lawn at the moment as it is covered in snow.

A cerebral telepathic hamster didn't know how to sing the phonetic alphabet.

Tying a knot in one's shoes such that it is nearly impossible to remove them serves no immediately understood purpose. I should know.

"You can take that to the bank." As far as idiomatic expressions go, this is one of them. There are others, but none that concern cryogenics as it exists in an analog wrist watch being worn by a staff member at the local hospital.

One of the reasons I gave blood today (128/79, pulse 91) is because at the end of the year they give out free desk calendars that I find useful to have at my desk at work. Yes, my pulse is higher than normal, though my systolic and diastolic are okay. Probably the pulse is high because to get from the metro to the blood clinic I need to ascend a bunch of steps which I did two at a time.

Tuesday, December 20, 2016

a microdot travels at the speed of dark

A trombone lesson evaded detection by wearing a purple dress with plaid polka dots. This proved to be excellent camouflage when the lesson was lying down in a bathtub with the shower curtain drawn. Yes, you can figure out that the shower curtain was purple, with plaid polka dots. Not all trombone lessons are so evasive; I saw one, once, hanging from an eight year old smoke detector found in a derelict church basement.

Wednesday, December 14, 2016

when telepathy and telekinesis fail

A thirty-one year old schizophrenic dentist celebrated Arbor Day by promoting the use of dental floss as an ingredient in a digital wrist watch and ripened banana peel smoothie made in a foreign made jalopy.

A geriatric Liechtensteiner baked a loaf of bread.

Relevance is an idea that can really draw two {entities | ideas | toothbrushes} together. This is also true at night.

The boot lace of the boot that fits my left foot broke. Fortunately, no one was injured at the time. A blue microcosm found within a fuschia macrocosm caused a cosmos to smell a little like a smudged dandelion that was partially eaten by pharaoh ants.

A capillary joint, like a cannabis joint, is about as notable as an F sharp.

There is something to be said about putting your hand on your hip and sticking your elbow out. I'm not sure if it is more meaningful to do this with the right hand or the left. Doing this while also running uphill on September 30th is probably one of the least newsworthy things a Sterlet sturgeon can do while losing a hand of blackjack.

The flight warden masked her temperamental reaction by pretending to limp in a subtle fashion.
The temperamental limp reaction masked the flight fashion by limping into a pretending warden.
By pretending to mask her temperamental fashion, the limping warden had a flight reaction.

Well, there it is, a whole in the ground from which can be drawn ice cream. Using crayons, of course.

Tuesday, December 13, 2016


These are the shoes I got to go with the suit I bought.