life is what it is

Like what the nest said to the egg.

Unlike what the squirrel squirreled away.

Try as one might, the ripped rotten soup pattern got emptied into the lake.

Slight as one might be, the ePlancul has been stopped.

As deep a hole as one can get into, there is but the steepest ladder to be used to escape.

A temper tantrum serves no purpose, not even under the most punishing circumstances.

Regret serves no purpose either, especially if we can choose to live in the moment. Or moments.

Unfortunately it put asunder my dreams for this year, but alas, there is the Sisyphus curse to put asunder any thoughts I had of progress.

I suppose there is always kite flying I can do.

objects without edges

On Friday I met with Lucy (since Maria had called in sick) for a nuru massage and in conversation I asked her how her day was going and due to the poor weather that day it wasn't busy, so she without any impetus from me indicated that through some of her down time she writes. This of course is of note to me as I write regularly as evidenced by this blog. She is writing a 'zine' (how she referred to it) as part of her master's thesis in sexology. I mentioned about my blog and she asked what I wrote about and I mentioned things happening in my life, nonsense, sometimes politics; and eventually I described to her this post as it was my most recent memorable one. Then she brought up the idea of grief and how that blog post was likely an expression of it. I told her that though I hadn't cognizantly had that term in mind, it definitely is a grief post. She went on to say that grief need not only apply to the death of a person, that we can grieve for the loss of a friendship, of a job, or even for the loss of something within ourselves. Anyhow, this idea of grief, and how and when we feel it or express it is what leads me to post this.

Yesterday I arrived at my church very early for the Christmas mass as I am a greeter for parishioners and visitors. Johnny, perhaps 10-15 years older than I am also comes to our church as a greeter and he arrived early too, giving us a chance to chat. He started about six months ago a job at Walmart to be a greeter. I have asked him about it a few times and he mentioned to me that during this Christmas season it has gotten super crazy; for example, the shopping carts are being collected from the parking lot and at that particular moment there are zero of them available at the entrance. Dozens of incoming customers are waiting, anxious, upset, and Johnny is in the midst of them. Once the carts arrive there is a ridiculous frenzy to get a cart. I asked Johnny if he is thinking of leaving the job and he says no - points to his head and says that he needs the interaction for his brain. He went on to say that the first year or two of retirement was nice to relax and do nothing, but that now six years later he has found that it is too boring; so he got this job and I guess will stick with it for as long as he can. It is convenient for him as he lives very close to the store.

Today I want for an 80 minute walk and got to thinking about what I could do in that situation where I am X years after having retired and want something to do to activate my mind. So the idea I came up with was to create a panel board suit; the kind with a front panel, a back panel and two shoulder straps to connect them. On the panel I would simply write the word 'Questions?' and possibly, somehow, arrange for a hat or a helmet atop which is placed a question mark.

The idea is that I would go into the city and pick different spots where I simply stand and wait for someone to ask me what this is all about. I indicate that it is very simple, I ask you a question and you ask me a question, this can take as much or as little time as you'd like. Then I would offer that person to make the choice as to who goes first.

During the walk I thought of a number of questions; and through this blog there are numerous posts that have questions, so I am not concerned at all about coming up with questions. For example:

If it was legalized, regulated and those rules enforced, would you agree that prostitution should be made legal?

If a milk tree spontaneously grew in your secondary bathtub and when you milked it you got an unendless supply of sugar free pistachio flavoured bubble gum and then you were to post this to social media; what would you say about it?

What are your thoughts on destiny vs free will? Were we destined to have this question conversation?

Describe your family in as much detail as you'd like; is there any family member you are closest to?

If a snake without legs rode a motorcycle without doors into your garage and began singing at the top of her lungs while playing a 5-string Banjo a riveting rendition of Elvis's Blue Suede Shoes and you managed to film this and then post it to social media, what would you say about it?

If a goldilocks zone exo-planet with a breathable atmosphere was found but would take 85 years to get there; would you want to go that your own progeny while ship bound would colonize that planet?

Is there a sport that you would love to play regularly irrespective of your physical condition or the local availability to play it?

I read up on local, provincial, federal, US and world politics pretty regularly so could draw any number of questions from that.

In terms of spots to go, during the university calendar year, hang out around the two English speaking universities in my city. In the summer, head into all of the major tourist areas. In the depth of winter, maybe pick only the better weather days.

longevity? for peanuts

In the post previous to this one I referred to the book 'Remember' by Lisa Genova. In this book she also spoke often of the neurological side of Alzheimers disease. In particular, going into the details of the Amyloid plaque accumulation, how that happens, the fact that it accumulates until reaching a tipping point. Before the tipping point there is no evidence whatsoever of a disease, and after the tipping point the Alzheimers begins and there's no going back.

She mentions a few different things about this. Part of this accumulation of Amyloids could be hereditary and/or genetic, but there are definitely some behavioural factors that can increase the amount of plaque that is gunking up our synapses, or reduce the collection of amyloids.

I do not recall if there is a preferential order to these items, but the more of them that we do, the better off we are.

A good quality deep sleep is what clears out the amyloids; there is a specific process that she refers to in layman terms as a janitorial process that operates when we sleep. If it functions correctly, the amyloids get broken down and washed away avoiding the collection of them and avoiding the eventual build up that could eventually block the synapse. Even one night of bad sleep, lack of sleep or no sleep can cause a small amount of irreparable harm. Many nights in a row of bad sleep can cause more amyloids to stick around, which actually can poorly affect your sleep causing a positive feedback loop. Fortunately, I have very good sleeping habits and have been sleeping well through most of my life.

Exercise, especially cardiovascular, has a big benefit, though it isn't exactly clear how or why. Part of it is that with good exercise, sleep quality improves. I am a regular exerciser, so this is good.

What is known as a Mediterranean diet is the recommended diet. I know that I stray from this considerably so this is an area that I can work on.

She mentioned that doing things like crosswords and Sudoku are not generally good at creating new neurological pathways as these just reuse existing ones over and over again. She mentioned a few different things as examples of ways that new neural pathways, even in old age, can be created. Learn a new language, learn how to play piano (or any musical instrument) and continue to learn new songs, participate in new experiences, travel to new places, meet and engage with new people. So my plan is to definitely travel to new places and meet new people, accomplishing both of these by taking cruises once or twice a year. I will also soon start to learn how to play piano and commit to learning a song by heart, then learn a second, then be able to play both from memory, then learn a third, then be able to play all three from memory, and so on ad infinitum.

Now, outside of this book, there are other things that I think of when I think of health and longevity. 

A person's walking speed is a good indicator of how many more years of life left they have to live. As mature adults (say, ages 25-45) we would have a certain natural walking speed, or a slightly elevated walking speed that we can manage without any difficulty for prolonged periods. The longer we can keep that speed, the better.

Grip strength is another measure, mostly because it correlates with a large number of other healthy habits; so as long as I continue to do exercise, one of which maintains my grip strength, this is a measure that doctors will take as a general test.

Having a good social life is key to having a long life as study after study shows what not having a social life can do to a person. I do not yet have any specific plans to ensure I have a high quality social life in my later years, but this is definitely something I will try to keep in mind.

If our sense of hearing goes down, it becomes very important to get hearing aids as otherwise we will become less able to participate in conversation, which means less socializing, which means more of the downfalls that happen to us when we don't socialize enough.

you said what? huh?

A friend of mine from church lent me a book 'Remember' by Lisa Genova.

She lent it to me after we had had a conversation about her husband who is in the early to mid-stages of Alzheimers. 

There were a number of points raised in the book that were not new to me, but a few that were.

We have physical memory (how to ride a bike, how to play piano, how to swing a golf club, etc.), semantic memory (our home address, our phone number, the capital city of our and other countries, etc.), episodic memory (our autobiographical experiences, what happened in our lives yesterday, last week, last month, etc.) and finally the memory for things to come (our upcoming weekend plans, our to do list for the day, etc.).

Physical memory seems to stick and stay with us through Alzheimers, we did not tend to forget our physical abilities. We may become less adept at them over time and lack of usage. To gain physical memory it isn't about memorizing something, but rather, doing that physical activity over and over again until it is known.

Semantic memory also seems to stick, but the total number of semantic facts that we have will slowly diminish over time through lack of recall. The author noted that we should not ever hesitate to Google a semantic fact. If we use glasses as a visual aid, why not use the internet as a memory aid?

Episodic memory is problematic as each time we retell a story about a memory, our brain is actually reliving that as if it was happening all over again, and when we retell the story we invariably leave out details or make very small fabrications and this new version overwrites what was the original. The next time we tell that same story about a memory, the same process takes place again, so our episodic memory over time becomes less and less accurate; even becoming wrong eventually. There isn't much that can be done about this except to either accept it, and/or keep as detailed a diary as possible and refer back to that diary often to keep the episodic memories stable. Looking back through past photos can also help with making our episodic memories more accurate over time.

The memory for things to come is very limited as we can only remember in our short term memory a small fixed number of things. The author recommends making full use of tools like a Google Calendar, to-do-lists and any other technological aid. Again, if we use glasses as a visual aid, why not use the internet and technology to help us remember things we need to do?

The last item that I'll mention, though I knew this already from past experience, is that to avoid losing items when you put them down anywhere (like your keys, your mobile device, your wallet, etc.) either have a very specific place where these items always go, or, pay very close attention to where you put them down. By paying close attention and noting the surroundings of where you have put this thing, you will better remember that you put it there.

Twice, not the left side

I'm on thin ice.

Could be losing my job if I don't pick up my pace.

I hope to become an annotator at my work place. That will make my life easier.

In other news, it was supposed to have rained today, even just a little, but it did not.

In still other news last night the Canadiens eliminated the Leafs in the first round of the NHL playoffs; tomorrow night the Canadiens play the Jets in the second round.

Finally, I'm looking forward to when I can retire, I hope I can do it in just a few more years.

telling the tale, or the tail

So I have cancelled my dream of moving to Glace Bay.

It turns out that staying where I am is better. Though the cost of rent over time will continue to increase and the initial cost of owning the home may not be arduous, over time the home expenses as well as car expenses I would need there that I don't need here would add up as compared to the rent and living expenses here.

This may allow me to take up sailing. Time will tell.

In other news, sock prices have plummeted as the rainy season picks up. Good luck to all those who wear sandals.

twice, why else?

The sun is shining, through the tulips that haven't sprouted as there is still between 10 and 30cms of snow on the ground.

I have yet to hear a cicada in 2021. Last year, it was only in July this happened.

I get to play table tennis today; I'm quite looking forward to it.

Not all of the items in this list are made of soliloquies or sub-par ice cream flavours.

I got a really good chuckle out of the question: your favourite: swimming laps or the number 17?

There is a meeting in my calendar scheduled for 15h30 today, I have joined it, but no one else has; this bodes well for me; I will de-join it. Leave it? Depart from the meeting? Cancel my connection? 

I did a cost comparison of Glace Bay vs staying where I am, if I was to do this today. Yes, buying a house there would decrease my savings; but the monthly costs would be far less. Still; this isn't something I can do while my children still need me to be around as the youngest is but twelve years old.

Off to TT I go! 

When the clock strikes twelveteen

I am dreaming of moving to Glace Bay, NS. There are some houses there that are quite inexpensive; it is conceivable that with what I already have, I could live there with relative financial ease and reduce my working hours significantly. I am not an island, however, and have my children here who still need me. So I will continue to dream. It is possible that five and a half years from now I could conceivably make this change, but it would mean not seeing my children for long periods of time. Well, it gives me time to think about it.

Playing table tennis has been quite fun; in the church basement there is a large collection of clothing, books and other items for distribution to those in need. One of the books is the third book in a series of Physics education. This third book starts principally with relativity theory; something I hadn't learned about way back when I did physics. So, I've been arriving to play table tennis early so that I can read some of this book. I think I'll take it home.

Continuing on books, I've read a few articles about what have been the top books of 2020 and after having read some of the descriptions found some I'd be interested in reading. Out of curiosity I decided to check my local library to see what they have of these books and I was pleased to see they had many. I haven't made use of the library with any regularity since moving into this town ~10 years ago. Perhaps I will now. During this C19 time they accept book reservations on-line, and then when they get to it they will contact me to arrange a date to pick up the books. On that date, any time of day that the library is open for pickups, I can go, show my library card through the glass to a librarian. The librarian will then retrieve the books and place them between the interior and exterior doors of the library and that person will then return inside. Once inside, I can enter through the exterior doors to retrieve the books. On the website they recommend not handling the books for five days upon receipt. I will have to handle the books to carry them back to my apartment, so I don't know that I will adhere to this recommendation.

Getting back to reading that physics book and moving to Glace Bay and being semi-retired, an idea I had was to continue learning about physics and also building/creating experiments to show how closely I can match a mathematical model. Another idea I have had about moving to a house that I can easily afford is to get into astronomy and have a proper telescope that has tracking and camera installed and start taking measurements or studying a particular area of the sky; or seeing what specific community based research projects are out there that could benefit from an additional data point. 

This modified quarantine has allowed me to think and plan and dream about all sorts of things; the question becomes, how do I make any of this possible? Where do I begin? What can I do now that would help with these things when it comes time for me to be able to do them? Heh; these are more topics for me to think about.