Saturday, August 25, 2012

Many thanks to

If broccoli is to a galloping hemorrhoid what french toast is to a limerick, plain clothed generic people would continue fulfilling their requirements of meeting the status quo.

I am only known as a generic person by people who don't know me.

I am specifically known by those who know me.

For everyone else, I do not exist.

If for some people I do not exist, does that mean I am only partially existential?

I would answer this myself, but the part of me that exists isn't sure about the inexistentialism of the other part of me.

Other parts of other people, not known to exist or not exist, are known. I should know.

It has been exceptionally warm here over at least the last three minutes. The meteorological prognosticators are indicating that at least the next three minutes will also be unseasonably warm. That's what you get for using tooth paste that is a day past its prime date.

Ooh, tooth paste is going on a date with prime, lucky her.

Luck is something that some people, if they were to aspire to it, would only catch it some number of sevenths of the time. It just works that way. I should know.

Being an antelope has nothing to do with this post.

Continuing to write about unrelated topics, one after another, appears to be a sub theme of this post. That this paragraph indicates that this is the case and is unrelated to any of the previous paragraphs of the post is an example of the fact that this post is a group of unrelated topics that are listed, one after another. If you've read this far, you have probably surmised that the next paragraph will have nothing to do with this one. Most likely you will have been correct after having read the next paragraph.

If I was to train to be a train to train trains on how to train, would I be a locomotive instructor? Or perhaps when the full moon strikes eleven-teen, a parachute made of left handed gloves will add adjectives after the fact. If this is not clear in even the most slightest of senses, this is because the internet provides little in terms of olfactory feedback. Most of the time, I am grateful for this; it speaks to the quality of writing.

Mexico is one of those places that is a destination for people who go there.

Ecuador is another of such places, though I have been to both places a total of zero times in my life. I could list the total number of places that I have been in my lifetime, but that list would not be exhaustive; it would exhausting. So I won't bother.

Language, as a fruitcake, does not remind people of the correct usage of the past participle. Neither does it sprawl helplessly on the couch, asking for some Tang. If one were to count the number of times that 'language' is used in a sentence surrounded by either single or double quotes in this post, you'd arrive at a prime number.

Jumping up and down is really hard when one is in the lower bunk of a bunk bed. I should know.

Keeping the face clean while eating chocolate cake and being three years old is no easy feat. I've polled a great number of three year olds asking this very question, and most of them looked at me like I came from Neptune, even though they had no idea what Neptune was.

Why they would pick Neptune of all of the planets. I just read the Wikipedia article concerning Neptune and became slightly more educated about Neptune as a result. I would recommend you do the same if such interests you.

Religious zealots sometimes run really fast.

When a cantankerous feline climbs a tree in search of a pie plate, small fish bounce playfully in the day time.

5 comments:

Debstar said...

'Religious zealots sometimes run really fast'. I assume that is because they are running from the bomb they just planted.

I imagined you asking a number of 3 year olds if they have trouble keeping their face clean while eating cake and it made me laugh out loud. hehe Thank you for that.

That question should go in your video-interview you do with your children each year.

Phil Plasma said...

Deb; with respect to the zealots, I was thinking more in terms of chasing after people to give their spiel.

I hadn't imagined what it would be like to interview a bunch of 3yo's, it certainly does sound like it would be entertaining. As for asking this question of my younguns, sounds like a grand idea, and thank you for reminding me that I am overdue for filming another interview.

Zhoen said...

What an explosion of Philism. I am aghast and amused.

ghost said...

galloping hemmorhoid has stuck with me. i pull it out when i need a giggle.

Phil Plasma said...

zhoen: I hope being both aghast and amused is not too painful.

ghost: I don't know that I would want to be stuck with galloping hemorrhoids.