Three times three times three times three times three

So I came across this article that talked about three core skills of building and maintaining both platonic and romantic relationships. It is based on this Ted Talk:



It is possible this blog post will out last the availability of both the linked article and the video (this has happened on older posts of mine), so I will include the most sentient points.

The first skill is insight. “Insight is about awareness and understanding and learning,” declares Davila. “With insight, you’ll have a better idea of who you are, what you need, what you want, and why you do the things you do.” “With insight, you’ll be able to anticipate the positive and negative consequences of your behavior,” “Insight will also let you know your partner better,".

The second skill is mutuality. “Mutuality is about knowing that both people have needs and that both sets of needs matter,” says Davila. “With mutuality, you’ll be able to convey your own needs in a clear direct fashion; that increases the likelihood you’ll get them met.” Of course, mutuality is about ensuring your partner’s needs are addressed, too. “Mutuality also lets you factor both people’s needs into decisions that you make about your relationship,”

The third skill is emotion regulation. “Emotion regulation is about regulating your feelings in response to things that happen in your relationship,” says Davila. “With emotion regulation, you’ll be able to keep your emotions calm and to keep things that happen in your relationship in perspective.” Emotion regulation means developing the ability to manage those moments when you might worry or snap.

In my relationship with my wife, I would score average in the 'insight' category, very low in the 'mutuality' and fairly well in the 'emotion regulation'.

It would be good to keep these things in mind.