If all of the pecans and the pecan'ts

If I hadn't swallowed the entire envelope made of cheese, a red-winged blackbird's feather and a toe nail clipping from a Minke whale, I'm sure that I would be in a better position to have an opinion on a more topical topic.

In other news, a slobbering poultry donation expert played chess against a moderately flatulent blocky iceberg named Jesse. The spectators at this event, well, most of them anyhow, did remember to brush their teeth earlier that day.

Celebrate! It is Tuesday!