Yesterday I went with my dad to visit with my mom who has end stage frontotemporal dementia, we arrived with her in the meal room, her lunch soon arrived, and we helped feed her as her coordination allowed for her to have the fork or spoon with food loaded arrive correctly at her mouth perhaps only one out of every five attempts.
The room had many elderly in various stages of inability, some who could feed themselves correctly, some who couldn't, with both staff and volunteers there to help those in need.
I could not help but get the feeling that this was just a place where people get fed, get cleaned up after they pee or poo, get wheeled in and out of their rooms and do various activities that people like my mom at end stage dementia can hardly be fully aware of what is going on, all with the ultimate purpose of doing what can be done before death.
I will need to eventually discuss this with my children, but as I am divorced and have no significant other, I am leaning towards, for myself, using Quebec's advance notification for MAID. I will just need to determine what is the specific condition where the trigger is pulled at the time that I am first diagnosed with dementia, presuming this happens at the end.
This isn't particularly Catholic or Christian of me to consider this, but as hurtful as it may sound, I see no value in continuing my existence if whoever I am now disappears leaving only my body to operate.
I do not know how much longer blogger.com will continue, but my plan is to write a bunch of future posts that I pre-post such that they come out piecemeal over the coming years. I will continue doing this right up to the end so that my blog will persist for who knows how long after I have passed.