using salt as a soup spoon

Carrying Samsonite sandwiches to the book burning is not unlike buying plague pills to keep them in storage for future use. I should know.

Some people have fruit, others have weekends.

Using your keys to change a light bulb from quarters to nickels undermines the nickel mines that are under.

When making phone calls, do not, under any circumstances, dial the numbers with any of the minor digits of your left hand. If you fail to heed this warning, you will have failed.

Backwards isn't the best direction to face while ambulating.