Sorry, I left my apocalypse at home

That we are nearing the end of the year 2025 speaks nothing to the number of pairs of unequal socks I may have owned within the last half decade.

That we are so close to arriving at the halfway mark of my trip around the sun means very little to anyone who knows how to tie shoelaces while chewing gum and also having a conversation with someone concerning the best time of day to order a book of coupons to be used in an online shopping spree.

That I've started all three sentences in this post with the word 'that' should be an offense punishable by a prime number of floggings with a licorice stick that has been partially chewed by that barn dog named 'Barry'.